Gratitude

Thankful for the shoes that carry me on this journey
Down a road that might seem unbending
With bumps and twists and turns…leading me to a place of reflection…and introspection that sometimes wears heavy on my soles…

Thankful the words that express my discontent
When I'm feeling under pressure and overwhelmed
At the curve balls that I manifest through my power of unclear intentions…

Thankful for the song that plays in my head
When I'm dancing through the corridors of angst
That settle into my familiar contemplations of lack…of fear…of woe and of life's complications…

Thankful for the man that stands by my side…full of pride
And tries to guide me, even when I'm clouded…
Unsure and self neglecting…

Thankful for the woman that holds out her hand…even when she doesn't understand…
And tries to pull me ahead
when I'm head strong and hell bent on shutting myself out

Thankful for love
And the powerful healing that radiates from the knowledge that even in the darkness I'm a king of light...a rightful ambassador of joy…and entitled to the riches that have always been my birthright.

Thankful
For the ability to appreciate that giving thanks … is simply enough to be thankful for…

Moon

I remember when I was the moon that embraced your night sky
And moments were like musical notes hanging on the air
Firefly lights flickered like candles dancing on the wind
and a breeze of tranquility would calm the passion brewing within
you were my evening
the end of days
the place where I could disrobe
and rid myself of the days troubles
and drown in the nakedness
of shameless exposure
you were my unbending soldier
shielding me from the darkness
while showing me the light
you were life
night
sky
and it felt beautiful
so beautiful and rich with possibility
I remember when I was the moon that embraced your night sky
And when the sun started to rise
And we said our goodbyes
As I wished for an eclipse
For darkness to offer me one last glimpse of the magic of you
The beauty of us
The glorious beauty of moon meeting sky and becoming night
Yes, I remember when I was the moon
When I was the moon and I could embrace you
Feel you
In me, around me, all over me
Night
Sky
Life
And we said our goodbyes
as the sun shined her brilliant light.

I am...Part II

I am an unbending tree
Unforgiving in my beauty
The child of Yemeya
A follower of my heart
A barrier breaking, boundary crossing, child of progress intentioned
I am the definition of success
A neatly packaged mess of passionate ambition
Free, yet priceless

I am the branch that hangs low
The fruit that springs forth
The seed that plants the tree
Rooted firmly in soil fertile with opportunity

Growth

I am growth
Spurting forth like stretch marks on virgin skin
Building castles on wishes and honoring a tradition of self
Becoming
Becoming a mirror
Reflected, reflective, reclaimed
Unconditional
Bound only to a spiritual commitment to see

To see

Beyond the beauty
Beyond the damage
Beyond a uniquely common story told in one act plays and dialogic monologues

I am free
A perfect soliloquy revealed in secret
A blending of souls
left open to unfold without regret
Lest, I forget
I am the child of neglect
Seeking love in darkened spaces
Seeking love
Fiercely ignorant of its residence within
Yes, I am love
Healed
Revealed
And free
Beautifully transparent and free
I am free
I am
everchanging
always becoming
and growing
and free
free to be undefined.
I am free...

I am...Part I

I am like rain

Falling on cemented dreams sprinkled with weeds that feed on me
The sum of parts that I don’t know
A story still untold

I am woven flesh
stitched into a story of hope
Rose from a garden watered with heroine needles and crack vials
Born of a mistake
A mistake told through a mother’s story taken to the grave

I am the adult survivor of a molested childhood
A childhood riddled with laughter and neglect
Bound to memories that paint colorful pictures of fear and longing and loss and loathing

I am an uncurled motherless fetus
Worn for the wear
Hurt and afraid and tired and alone
I am alone
Hardened like stone
And sadly – this story IS my own

I am the adolescent that was raped
brutally raped
because I trusted my mother and not my heart

Raped because I needed a place to lay my head…a bed

Raped

I am a man who was raped
Scarred
Damaged
Broken

And yet…

I am a complicated monologue
Of Shakespearean proportions
Unafraid to love
In spite of my fear

I am…
Unafraid
Unafraid to become
More than someone else's mistake
Or someone else's victim
Or survivor
I am greater
greater than the sum of my parts
Even if the parts remain unknown
I am a beautiful piece of art
A sparkling star flickering in a darkened sky
Unapologetic
Unafraid to shine
I have arrived
And I rise…from a history of untended hearts and severed ties
Emptied of the tears that filled a river of fear that plagued my mother, my father, and the years of healing that still remain –
I am free of pain
And my story…
My story is one that unfolds into a motivational masterpiece
And today…
Today I know who I am…
I am
Unapologetically me
An intelligent, successful, and forgiving human being…
And I am free