Super Hero Magnificent

You laid me on my side & covered me in satin sheets ,
Showing me a softer side of your masculine.
A touch sent a charge through my veins
Igniting a series of reactions that I could not conceal
You knew the words to whisper,
The places to caress
The gentle touch I needed
And still you maintained your respect
Never going beyond the boundaries of a friend…
You were a super hero magnificent
Doing all the right things and keeping me safe all the same
You didn’t expect a return on your investment
And it made me take notice…
Become far more interested in the trappings of attraction
That extended beyond the limits of friends
You had me open
Off your superhero magnificent
Keeping me engaged in your swagger and your sexy
It wasn’t something you did…
It was YOU…
All of you…
And I was becoming some kind of crazy for you
It was like you became my kryptonite
And all the while…you became stronger…
Demonstrating more and more swagger
Doing things like catching me when I fell
And calling me when I needed help
They were simple things…but special things…
And every time you did more
I became more attracted…
Until finally…my heart reacted
And you couldn’t do the catching…
Because the fall was more of a metaphor…
And then it happened…
Your super hero magnificent
Was all I could imagine…and so
I started to let things grow…beyond the boundaries of friends
And found the weak parts in your super hero magnificent
So that I could escort love in…
And
Love built my strength
and my attraction counteracted your kryptonite
and I found myself…basking in the light…
feeling the greatness of my magnificence…
and in that moment I knew you knew
that our friendship grew…into something more
and then you uttered the words…that I didn’t know I was longing for…
I love you…
And love became the glue…
that coupled your superhero magnificent
with my extraordinary abilities
and the rest…
well the rest is history!

Brilliant Light of Morning

In the brilliant light of morning
A smile invades the corners of my mouth
Change has become constant
And familiar places seem different
The moods have become moments
The moments have become filled
Filled with an echo of abandon
That no longer leaves me afraid –
Alone
Seemingly lost in an abyss of disconnection
But an anchor keeps me grounded
A strength focuses my truth
I didn’t know how I would weather
The internal abuse
That I continued to inflict
Because I lost sight of my magnificence…
But,
In the brilliant light of the morning
The growth becomes a natural process
Awareness becomes my friend
As I walk through the experience
Of emptiness…
Loneliness…
And discover it’s real significance…
Paradoxical duality
Lends to a grand appreciation
For the complexity of happiness…
I’m comfortable in the moment…
Loving the skin I am developing…
The seeds are beginning to sprout in the soil of my soul
Nurturing me into a loving place
Where I am no longer looking to control
That which is not mine to own…
In the brilliant light of morning
I’m becoming …
I’m becoming …
Becoming individual in my complexity
Becoming comfortable in my self discoveries
And loving
in my humble understanding
That blaming is retribution
That only serves to mirror my insecurities…
In the brilliant light of morning…
I’m learning
Forgiveness…
Forgiveness is freedom
To love without conditions –
Freely –
And I deserve all the beauty that loving freely…
Without conditions
provides me.
In the brilliant light of morning…
I’m basking in the light…
Glowing in the blessing
And awakening to life as it should be…
In the brilliant light of morning…
I have become – happy!

The Urge

Rags…
Rags drape across my loin
Covering the nakedness that comes to life with thoughts of you
They keep me bound and woven…
Neatly discreet
To prevent the animal urges stirring up like fire raging inward
Sweat…
Sweat drips down the curve of my neck
And the corner of my cheek
As the moistening of my skin quickens the beating of my heart
And the parts of me that I’ve kept hidden
Those hidden parts
Start to bubble up…and find comfort in the ambient light
Tonight…
Tonight fighting the yearning is like fanning a flame
The passion is consuming…the intensity feels insane
And so I whisper your name…
And then drop…
Drop all the defenses that kept me caged
And I let instinct lead me to another flow…
Grabbing you firmly – as you plead me with to let go –
But your pleading is really in vain –
You want this as much as I do –
But you like to play the game …
So I let you go…grab you…let you go…grab you…
And then
Little earthquakes erupt all over your skin
and devilish curls don the corners of your mouth
so I take my lips and let them do tricks on the tips
of your erect nipples…
and you start to quiver …
I hear you moan – and it makes me want you more
And then I gently ease you down to the floor
And let my tongue dance across the soft spots
While my hand massages the hard part
And I feel you ooze…
Providing a natural lube
So that I can massage you while I explore the rest of your body…
And then…the passion thickens
And my exploration becomes hastened
Because now I’m ready for deeper exploration
So I let my tongue continue to cruise along the curves of your groin
Till I find the spot that makes your body tense up
And your pleas become frenzied
And you scream out in ecstasy
So I slow down a bit…let you catch your breath
And then start again…
Slowly massaging the small of your back…while I play with the tip of your dick…
Doing tricks with my lips and letting my tongue make your dick a victim of intense scrutiny
I can feel you…and you can feel me…
And then…you whisper, ever so gently, I want you inside of me…
So with a condom and some KY
I get ready to go inside…
but you stand up…lay me down and smile…
and say “no baby…I got you this time…”
and with out a thought you hop and my dick
and go for a ride…
like a pro, you let go …
and ride me like a champ…
and being the man that I am…I let you ride, because I can see you feel high
but…after a while
I can’t deny the animal urges raging within…
And so I stand up while my dick is still inside
And take you doggy style…
And begin to hear you slowly moan
And then the moans become groans
And the groans become roars…
And I can feel your body tensing…as you scream it’s your papi…it’s yours…
And then … as if on cue
You cum…and I come too
And we both look at each other…exhausted, but exhilarated…
And say In unison…ready for round two?

Faith

It is my right
To feel the light
Shower me with grace
Embrace me
As I glow – brighter with each passing day

I am like a butterfly fluttering its wings for the first time
Holding fast to the flight…letting go of the weight of self doubt
Gliding
Into the unknown
With a faith all my own
I love the freedom
I love the end…
I love that this is where I begin

The wind
Will carry Me
Support Me
Embrace Me
To vision past my inability to see –

Faith

Do you see me standing still?
I’m just moving faster than your eyes can see
It’s the power that my faith guarantees me
It’s the ability to appreciate the idea that life…
Life is free…
And faith…faith is the only currency
So I love the wind
Around me
Under me
Above me
I love to pause and breathe it in…
Because I know…that like the wind… nothing can stop me…

My faith…
My faith has already called IT in to being…
And IT is what my spirit knows is right for me…
Faith –
What a gift!

the answer

There's an answer
In the waiting and the lie
There's a healer
In the passing of time
There's a feeling
You know you can't deny
It's the power
To do what is right
In the moment
in the fear of goodbye

there's a savior
in the will of your mind
there's a dreamer
holding on to the sky
floating higher
until the days turn to night
it's the answer
it's the will to survive
in the moment
when the tears have dried
you find the power
to open your eyes

it's a wonder
it's a brilliance of light
in the moment
you can see
you're
fine

There's an answer
In the waiting and the lie
There's a healing
Buried deep down inside
It's a feeling
Of love and of life
That overwhelms you
And changes your mind
There's the answer
It was yours all the time
You are the healer
You are strong and you are kind
You have the power
To change people's minds
There's the answer…
You are love…you are light

wings

I borrowed wings from heaven…
So that they could carry me to the last place I felt loved
And on my journey I discovered so many beautiful lessons
There is a power within me
A light that glows bright red
It radiates around my body…and illuminates my head
It’s like a fire I can command…
And it gives me a strength that I don’t quite understand …
And this intuition settles on the tip of my thought
Leaving me aware of the truth…
Love surrounds my every move
And so the wings I’ve borrowed are really just carrying me forward
Toward new experiences…
New blessings…
And the only question that remains
Who can promise me the moon?
Well…
Since all hearts aren’t built the same
I’ll be the promise maker…
Love myself completely
So that I can love someone else properly…
I borrowed wings from heaven…
But now I own my own…
So that I can soar without fear
And never worry about where I go from here…
And I am soaring –
On the wings of love
Toward a new precipice
Of love…
And true happiness.

BiPolar Experience

Folly not…in this darkened chamber of parallel confusion
Embracing hysteria while fellowshipping with delusions of grandeur and fame
The light creeps in when the echoes become whispers and whispers become names
Names that once caused bumps to blaze trails across the surface of skin
That is scarred with etchings of the wars that have been waged in sanity’s face
The webs have been woven, the lies untangled – cell phone vibrations resonate like earthquakes
Rocking the foundation –
And like premature ejaculation –
It all ends abruptly –
With a singular experience leaving room for expert opinions and consequential conclusions
And then clarity resonates
Like a musical note permeating the barrier that only sound can distort
And chaos becomes a marching band orchestrated by waving hands
And a blind director
But it all makes sense
the polarity that suggests sanity
has become a bi-lateral concept
and the diagnosis offers an excuse for behavior that would otherwise lead to real consequence…
this…this is the bipolar experience!

Staatistical Consideration...

Staatistical representations suggest that this equation is destined for greatness
& with Sevin in retrograde
& the Staats being fully calculated
There’s no way this could be a false positive
In fact,
I’ve run the numbers…
Checked the charts –
I found no erroneous information
& No unnecessary deviations
All the experts have stipulated
This is an indisputable representation
Of calculated preparation
Like Isaac Newton’s gravitational theory
Or Albert Einstein’s law of relativity
The solution was drawn together
In perfect harmony
There should be no question
No doubt
Sevin is open
For STAATistical consideration
From here on out!

Being Human

Everything changes – but change brings a reckoning – and the parts that were fragmented become deafening as they try to reconnect…I’m channeling a disconnection beyond my understanding – that stems from a life I chose to lead – my childhood planted a seed – and it has continued growing without my knowing how to water it properly…and so I suffer the consequence…feeling empty from time to time…lost at others…confused by the abandonment of love from others–

Mixed emotions course through the circuits that transmit feelings to the mind. This time…this time I can be honest about the thoughts that have kept me stuck in a cycle of distrust – there’s a lust for the knowing of a man’s touch beyond the bedroom – and it’s growing each day as I continue to remember love. I thought loving me was enough, but the memories … the memories of loss keep me bound to a belief that anyone I love will leave … and I can’t see passed the memory, to create a new dream.

So, today I journey on…remembering love and knowing the lie. I’m not just an average guy, and loving me, loving myself, is a wonderful prize. I can’t continue to remain shackled to deceptions that leave me tattered and worn. I deserve to be one with love – and to have all of the joy that it brings. Today I’m remembering – and it feels a bit melancholy – but I’m prepared to make this journey – so that I can be happy again – in love again – and understand – that this experience … is just me…me being human!

©2008 Jason Rivera

Toast

...for mommy

Shadows cascade like faded memories blurred by time long passed
Visions of tomorrow have become yesteryears dreams and the hopes you once had for riches are far from what you thought they'd be –
You're running on empty, fueled by disdain, for a life you thought you were promised, but could never sustain
It's like a glass has been raised in your honor…a toast set for kings
But the wine is really vinegar, the toast becomes a reckoning
Time has evaded the sense you thought you owned
And you've lost sight of the things that you have convinced yourself matter
Falling upward on a climb from the depths of success
You knew, with all your heart, you gave it your best
But your best was cigarette smoke and cheap sex
Where will you lay your heart to rest,
When you've emptied your pockets and have nothing left?

Ashes fall from the walls, burning the embers of people with no faith…
Still nothing changes your view, the condition you pursue…and your faith turns to hate
And you become blackened by your distaste for all that is pure
Forgetting
Relenting
Inventing an excuse to ignore the truth
You're fading from the photograph…while being caged in your frame
You want to ignite a firestorm, but can't seem to flicker a flame…
It's life as you know it
Lacking, limiting, existing in a prison of your own doubt
You thought it was safe to build a wall, and so you did, but forgot to build a way out
Like chains that burn flesh in freedoms name
You're living in a pain that you can't overcome

But it was you…you who showed me the ropes, the ropes to climb
To move a mountain
It was you … you, who loved me through the ignorance,
That made me run faster to nowhere…
And remained loyal to me as I discovered running after dreams was really just me running after me…
And that the precious things that mattered would only come from within.
But you fell victim to a landslide…
So today I return the love
and I raise a glass, make a toast…
A toast in your honor…
And hear you laugh
Because you forgot the power you possess
The power I possess
So I raise a glass, make a toast
A toast in your honor
and let you go –
let you go to rediscover your power
smile as you journey on…remembering isn't really hard if you believe you always knew it…
so toss your instructions out and feel your way back to the truth. I love you.

©2008 Jason Rivera

Playing the Game

Here I am, naked and unashamed
Loving myself into the arms of a new stranger…
A new face…an unknown name
Transparent and playing the game
I was right as rain when I remembered the rules…
But the rules had me playing the fool
And playing the fool became a game where I got played and he continued to get laid
And it left me feeling lost…confused…conflicted
I thought I was addicted…
But I was really just a victim of a foolish heart
Playing the game…
Playing ...playing the same ole game…
Like the flicker of a flame…
Burning the wick
I became the child…and he became the dick…
That continued to molest my level of commitment
And brandish me unfit
Unfit
Me…unfit…
To commit
Because now everyone is suspect…
And so…I’ve become the misfit
Tripping off the rules
But I’m no longer the fool…
Now I’m some kind of wonderful…
Fucking like a champ…
And it’s an angry fuck…
A put a nigga’s head through the wall
Gritty, animalistic type fuck…
That reminds me that this isn’t love making…
It’s just a cleansing…
The release of a dream…
That one day prince charming would rewrite the fairytale…
And what remains…
What remains…is the game…
The game that allows me to sleep with men who never know my name…
The game …
That causes me to feel connected to strangers
And leaves scars on the corners of my heart…
The game…
That I never learned how to play as a child…
And so now…I feel all kinds of wild…
And a little lost…
Because I’m a competitor…and winning … wining is a must…
But how do you win at a game…that compromises your self trust?
And so…
Here I stand…naked and unashamed…
Staring at my reflection…trying to remember my name…so that I can find my way back…back to me…

© 2008 Jason Rivera

sweet piece of art

I'm a sweet piece of art…observed and admired from behind a painted veil
Encased with glass that shields me from the world…
I'm a boy…not yet arrested…by the trappings of girls…
Innocent in my thoughts…pure in my trust
Like a flower
Growing in a garden of cement
Beautiful in the backdrop of discontent that transcends from someone else's defense

Wickedly humble in the treatment of water stains and blooming angels
Living in blind spots
Unafraid of the danger of being …
Being treated like a rose
Covered in thorns –
This path is my journey
And my journey seems long
Long overdue
For the transformation that ensues
When the glass shatters
And the painting becomes the ember
That sparks the transfer

Everything matters
Everything shatters
The falsehoods of boyhood
The mishaps of chance
The silly chatter that becomes the banter that echoes louder and louder
Until silence becomes noise and noise becomes comforting

The madness comes to light
And the light becomes a beacon
Emanating from the truth
And then the realization…
This is not new…
It's simply truth

and the journey ends exactly where it began…
with a sweet piece of art…observed from afar
with filled frames trapping the remains
of understanding
the painted veil…the encased glass…
the masks…
memories of haunted pasts
hanging on walls begging for someone to ask
how, or why, or when
did it become safe to be a victim?

Like a flower, starving for water
Withering in the fiery sun
I have become
Many shades of gray
With a radiant passion
So I make a choice that fits my voice
And the transformation ends
No longer trapped in a frame
No longer do I remain
Ashamed…afraid...I am changed…

The innocent boy is no longer in the dark
He has repainted his canvas and reframed his sweet piece of art
So that the picture reflects the man I have become
and the man I have become follows his heart…


© 2008 Jason Rivera

conversations with my 33 year old self...

Conversations with my 33 year old self…

Can I get a witness…to this crime? Living in lines without the presence of mind…you don’t deserve the time it takes to unmask the truth – especially when you continue to choose the same damn abuse…you deserve to be ridiculed…when you behave like a fucking fool!

What did you just whisper? You miss who? The woman who abandoned you? Just face the truth – her leaving was never about you…so stop amplifying your worth…be thankful for your birth…and accept the fact that she chose…and her choice wasn’t about you or your love…so get up off your ass…walk out the door…love her if you choose to…but don’t bear this cross anymore…

Your damned if you do…damned if you don’t….so why not just jump – and handle the consequences when they come? What’s to lose when it wasn’t yours to own…you’ll learn…on this sojourn …that choice is only an exercise in thought...so give up the farm…fuck the shit you’ve been taught…

This is the truth…harsh at it seems…being gentle with you never worked…it’s like you were stuck in some euphoric dream…and the only way to shock you sane…is to match the intensity of your pain with the harshness of the truth…no one can love you – because of what you choose…no one can love you…until you do…

So unwrap yourself from the chains…release the blame…embrace the pain…and make conscious change part of your daily routine…stop letting life pass you by…on your way to being confused…choose NOW…choose you…and fuck what everyone else needs you to do…Honor the king that lives within you…and only fellowship with people who can honor him too…PERIOD.



© 2008 Jason Rivera

Life's Sweet Kiss

The honey draws bees and the autumn breeze leaves dreams floating on the wind. The day draws to its end and the evening begins with the moon grinning over the night sky. Fireflies dance along to a song of cheer – there’s a scent on the air – like cake batter mixed with childhood laughter – and the only thing that matters is the happily ever after that remains from the moment he said hello. You’re set a glow…floating on a cloud … remembering the moment he looked your way and said your name…it’s all you can do to contain the excitement that has rained down upon you.

You never imagined that today you’d become acquainted with joy – much less that you would find yourself acting like a love struck boy – but, here you are…finding promise in the possibility of newness…and you’re giddy – happy about the mutual emotions that you share –

Like a child at play with his favorite friend, you’ve become engrossed in discovering something new – you find yourself doing things you use to do when you were intoxicated with wonder – lost in the sensations of elation that derive from the anticipation of seeing him again – it’s all so reminiscent – of when you were young and in love – only now you’re mature, and self assured – you know how to endure the infatuation – so that you can get to a place of truth – and you still feel the same – like a child at play…and it’s in this moment…that you know – you know that what you feel…is something worth exploring. So you explore – you boldly make an effort to learn more…more about the things that make him tick – and you find yourself becoming more connected.

The infatuation dissipates – replaced by a chemistry of two … which transforms into a foundation for something true. The honey draws bees and the autumn breeze leaves dreams on the wind. The night draws to its’ end and a new day begins. Rays shower the budding flowers as your connection blossoms with each passing hour…and you surrender to the power that love has to redefine bliss. This is life’s sweet kiss, waking you into awareness. Now – now you have found true happiness!


© 2008 Jason Rivera

stranger seduction

[(for the UNIVERSAL haters) <--- it's an inside joke...get over it!]

Faint cries echo softly across the distant embrace of a lover losing the battle between monogamy and seduction - a slow erection symbolizes the intention that could lead to an indiscretion that could cause the fall of Rome - Love is abounding as the heart pounds with quickening intensity and the sounds of beating drown out the pleading of the little angel whispering softly in your ear - think about what youre doing consider the risks

Overwhelmed with desire, you feel as if your body could erupt in flames - and feeling no shame, you make the first move - and lean in for the first kiss - this...this is something you convinced yourself you could resist - but the passion was to intense and the angel whispering in your ear somehow disappeared along with your fears

Consequence, replaced by confidence, leaves you convinced that the emotions you're feeling are mutual - in spite of the fact that you're naked, lying next to a total stranger, with an erection and absolutely no protection from the emotional expectations that this situation will impart you start to part your lips and find your way to the tip of the angled dick - and start doing tricks that you never thought you'd do with anyone else

As your fingers dance across his chest, and your lips do their best to reinvent the blow job, he moans and groans, as his hands caress your hair, your neck, your back - you let your hands wander to his crack - and run one hand down his crack, as the other massages his back and then, in that freaky, kinky, I wanna fuck you manner, you smell the hand that explored his ass, and become intoxicated with passion - you can feel your dick get harder, your hands get firmer, and your intentions become clear - you wanna fuck him, raw, animalistic like, without fear - you whisper in his ear - relax pa - and turn over

As your tongue sings a song only his hole can hear you feel the bumps erupt all over his body you've found the spot and you linger swapping your tongue with your finger he shudders, breathes heavily and then begs for you to enter - precum dripping, you gladly oblige - slowly massaging the tip of your pretty dick against his throbbing hole you can feel him wanting you...needing you...pleading for you to do to it to him. As you slowly enter

Finding a rhythm, you do an usual dance moving in and out, up and down, in and out... up and down...you drown in the sensation - and you feel his ejaculation, but you're not cumming yet - he pleads with you to continue pounding his hole, even after hes shot his load - and so you do and he comes again - but this time, you come too - and its like Jesus Christ himself touched you
Sweat drips from your neck, cum drips from your dick - and he licks your lips as reality sets in - you are lying naked, next a total stranger - who you just fucked to the heavens - and you dont even know his name...

© 2008 Jason Rivera

Close My Eyes (lyrics)

I have learned that love can be
The hardest thing you can achieve
It changes up and makes you weak,
You need the strength to just believe
You
Have been a part of me
Surrounded me with simplicity
And in your arms I find the peace
To love myself so openly

Close my eyes and I realize
Years ago when I learned to cry
I never thought I could survive
Until you walked into my life

When you love someone so freely
You let down the walls around your heart
You teach yourself to let them in
You love them from the start
It's in those times that miracles
Become a part of who you are
You have been my shining star
Through the rainy days
We have come so far

Close my eyes and I realize
Years ago when I learned to cry
I never thought I could survive
Until you walked into my life

I can't pretend the hurt away
But with your love it dissipates
I've found the strength inside the pain
To make it through the rain
And
I close my eyes and realize
Years ago when I learned to cry
I never thought I could survive
Until you walked into my life
And
I close my eyes and realize
That love was always on my side


© 2008 Jason Rivera

Hello, My Name Is Love

Hello, my name is love, and I thought it was time I introduce myself.

I've been sitting in the wings, waiting for you to invite me in. I was there when you felt alone, and betrayed, and lost. I was there when you convinced yourself you were abandoned, when you decided to survive at all costs. I never left your side when you silenced your cries, and I watched you dry your eyes and continue to get stuck in the lies – you believed you were damaged. I was there when you buried the brother you felt protected you so, and when you buried the mother who you thought let you go…I tried to show you that pain isn't real, but you numbed yourself to the voices…you chose not to feel…and so the lessons became loops…the loops became fear…but I never left your side…in fact, I was always right here.

But now, I know you're ready…ready to become acquainted…
So please, allow me to introduce myself – my name is love.

We have so much to catch up on…so much to heal. I know you believe in my power…I know exactly how you feel. Allow me to embrace you, to eliminate all your fear – it can only exist in my absence, and I'm not going anywhere.

It's so nice to finally meet you…to see you without fear. The tears will dry in due time…as you learn to see things as they are…not as you wish them to appear.

Hello, my name is love. I'm so happy we are friends. I will be with you through eternity – so never fear abandon, for as I exist for you – I exist in everything – and that is something you are finally starting to understand.

Love.


© 2008 Jason Rivera

i write

i write -when darkness invades and the memories are to vivid to escape
when emotion takes hold and tears don't fall - there's nothing to evaporate

i write to contribute my voice...not a planned piece...not a thought out work...like spilled milk on a concrete slab...splattering into a pattern of unplanned art
i write - whatever is on my heart ... without apology - without fear - without the expectation that anyone else will care -and i love the power that my words impart -inspiring me to continue contributing a verse, a line...to the poetry of my life...

i write
because i find life in the words
and freedom in the words
and love in the words
i write because
i find love
i find love
in myself when i write...
so.. i will always write - always find love in the words
love in
myself!


© 2008 Jason Rivera

man in the making

…bronzed skin… trimmed beard…chiseled chin…and a grin that brightens the darkest moments…he was a vision – standing in a light that shined brighter by the minute – innocent – modest about his beauty – and his eyes – his eyes opened windows to worlds beyond the imagination…a remarkable representation of masculinity redefined – watching him stopped time.

…the way he tilted his head, licked his lips and breathed life into words soothed the soul…there was no pretense, no fear, no concern about control – it was natural – harmonious – almost rhythmic – like dancing with a shadow that could mimic all the moves…he was like water – refreshing and cool – replete – yet fluid

…he showed genuine interest – not just in the effortless chemistry or the sexual energy – but in the makings of love that extend beyond the sheets – he was a real man – complete – without refrain from the exchanges required to discover truth – and it was cute…the way he showed he cared, and the way he didn't judge…and the way he greeted with hugs…and the way he just demonstrated love effortlessly, with a look!

…he was a reflection … of a man that did not exist … a reflection of something only god could manifest … beautiful, humble, honest, and sincere…a man in the making…becoming a true blessing – for you…


© 2008 Jason Rivera