Conversations with my 33 year old self…
Can I get a witness…to this crime? Living in lines without the presence of mind…you don’t deserve the time it takes to unmask the truth – especially when you continue to choose the same damn abuse…you deserve to be ridiculed…when you behave like a fucking fool!
What did you just whisper? You miss who? The woman who abandoned you? Just face the truth – her leaving was never about you…so stop amplifying your worth…be thankful for your birth…and accept the fact that she chose…and her choice wasn’t about you or your love…so get up off your ass…walk out the door…love her if you choose to…but don’t bear this cross anymore…
Your damned if you do…damned if you don’t….so why not just jump – and handle the consequences when they come? What’s to lose when it wasn’t yours to own…you’ll learn…on this sojourn …that choice is only an exercise in thought...so give up the farm…fuck the shit you’ve been taught…
This is the truth…harsh at it seems…being gentle with you never worked…it’s like you were stuck in some euphoric dream…and the only way to shock you sane…is to match the intensity of your pain with the harshness of the truth…no one can love you – because of what you choose…no one can love you…until you do…
So unwrap yourself from the chains…release the blame…embrace the pain…and make conscious change part of your daily routine…stop letting life pass you by…on your way to being confused…choose NOW…choose you…and fuck what everyone else needs you to do…Honor the king that lives within you…and only fellowship with people who can honor him too…PERIOD.
© 2008 Jason Rivera
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