Twisted History

Shallow and sullen I shield my throat
to protect the heart that keeps fluttering there
Sounds echo indistinctly as sense becomes a luxury
I take another sip
Drunk sifting throught the bullshit you left behind on your last visit
I always get stuck
Caught up in the fucking
As if ritual sex could champion the damage you inflicted
Remembering each time I let you hit it…how I felt more disconnected
But I was an addict
And I would continue to give you credit
Knowing the bill is long past due
And here I sit
Naked and twisted
Twisted off confused distortions of love that once existed
Tripping
Without a net
Falling into history
Repeating it again…and again…and again
Like some ignorant misfit
Caution counterfit
Or negligent
Or irrelevant
I can’t decide which
Because my senses are still nonexistant
And you continue to do the same things you use to do
Playing trickery with words
Pulling puppet master strings
Cleverly convincing
But this…
This isn’t a dear john…
It’s not a woe is me type confession…
It’s a realization
That your actions were a consequence of my lacking
Lacking love…lacking respect
And so…it really was a blessing…
But don’t get it twisted…
You still have a bill that’s due
And I’m collecting in multiples of two
Serving ego
With a side of “don’t fuck with me Negro”
So if you see me walking down the street…
And I start to smile…
Fall back nigga
It might just be your time!!!