I Deserve More

I will not love
As if I were stone
In order to avoid the hurt that complements love
I will not shield my soul
From the trappings of intimacy
So that I can protect myself from the trials of loss
The cost can be paid in wages of tears
And experiences marred with anguish and fear
But I will not love
As If I were stone
I will not harden my heart
To create stops and starts
Those never move beyond hellos

I deserve more

I will not hold on to anger
To stay steady and calm

No,
I will embrace the darkness
The abyss of emotion that leaves me tethered to a longing for love

I will be love
Forgiving in the endings
Honest in the beginnings
And communicative throughout
So that I can witness the birth of happiness
Plant the seeds of tranquility
And nurture them with the soil of my soul

I will be bold
In my loving
And hold tight to the promise that I can be complete
All by myself
But I choose to be the whole half of a part of an us
So…
I will be love
Loved
Loving
In the minutes and moments until we exist.

I will be
All that I am
Until we exist.